About me

(badger graphic from the the Badrise Sett  the only badger site which I have so far found with a direct link to the Bruce Lee fan club - but surely it's only a matter of time....has lots of badger info too.) 

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If you got here, then you found the link!!

This is the hardest bit.  We all remember with awful clarity the first day in a new class when some poor woman, faced with 44 unknown quantities, 90% of whom would turn out to be normal wee kids, 1% genius, 2% insane and 7% per cent bad wee bxxxxs, handed us out a sheet of paper and gave the fateful order, "Tell me about yourself".  As an ardour dampening technique it had few equals.  The fecund, febrile minds at once all cooled and became as devoid of thought as the paper which stared, mockingly, back at them. Pretty much the same here, then. But here goes anyway.

I was born in Falkirk, Stirlingshire, Scotland.  My sisters had been asked whether they would like a new baby brother or sister, or a television.  Well, sorry, mum and dad , but it was a bit of a non-starter as a question, although I appreciate the fact that you did try to prepare them for the arrival.  Faced with a choice like that, who wouldn't have gone for the telly?  In the end, they got both.  We all went back home from hospital up the braes, to Blackbraes Schoolhouse, which we lived in at the time, since my father was Headmaster of California Primary School.  My sisters are Elspeth Barbour Fraser and Alison Margaret Florence, and our age difference meant that mum had "one in the pram, and one off to school", which she said suited her fine. It was many years later that I learned that we also had a brother,  Sandy, who died when he was six days old. 

When I was two, we moved a few miles down the road to Shieldhill, a new post for Dad.  I went to my first school there, and got a hell of a shock on my first day, when I discovered that there were other children the same age as me, who lived nearby.   I don't know what I thought had been going on in the big building right next to the house, from which scores of children trooped back and forth every day. It simply had not impinged on my consciousness, I was quite happy playing shops in the garden with Katy, our dog.  Around this time Elspeth went off to Glasgow, to study first at Strathclyde University and later at Jordanhill College.  Alison moved on to Falkirk High, and I, having got over the shock of not being unique, found that there was rare fun to be had playing in all sorts of old derelict farm houses and muddy fields. "The moss", a huge expanse of heathland leading up and over the hill beyond the village, also exerted a fascination, until the day I fell down a pit and sliced my leg open on some rusty corrugated iron, necessitating a quick visit to the hospital.  I can remember asking dad why on earth they had given me a jag in my arm, when I had cut my leg, and the horror on the faces of a young couple whose baby had swallowed a thrup'ny bit. 

Once I went to school, my mother went back too - to Callendar Park College of Education, where she gained her teaching diploma and began teaching in the schools around Stirling. She started off in Cowie, moved to St Ninians and later Cambusbarron.

After five years we moved house to Bannockburn, I went into primary 3. Dad was heidie of the primary there. Ali went to the High School of Stirling.   Around this time our parents began to realise that the housing market was moving, and decided to purchase a house instead of living in a tied one.  This took us to Cambusbarron, the house we moved into in 1969, and which my father did not vacate until 2000.  Primary school no. 3 for me, and a Primary 6 class full of  - well, let's just say I was glad to get to high school.  Although the Fiona Thomsons of this world make up for the Anne Smiths.

At Stirling High I made good friends, some of whom I still see.  I met pupils from my sister Elspeth's first teaching class, and there was the added excitement of the impending wedding - Elspeth was marrying a Fifer, one Colin Fraser, whom she had met while working in the Castle Hotel at Glendevon.  They carried on their romance while Colin was at Churchill College, Cambridge, which couldn't have been easy.  On 7th July 1972 we all got to church (eventually - the taxis couldn't find our house so we finally jumped into dad's Cortina and wheeled down the road.  In the village we found the lost taxis, dived out of our car, all in our finery, and left mum to drive to the church by herself. She managed.) Colin seemed to have maintained a remarkable sang-froid given that his bride was 30 minutes late....

Whilst at Stirling High myself, I was sent for one day, to be told by Ali that mum had been taken into hospital with a heart attack.  This was a bad time for us all - Dad had to get in touch with Elspeth and Colin, who by this time had moved to Cheltenham, Gloucestershire.  They had no phone in their flat, so dad had no option but to send them a telegram - Elspeth came flying home and we all spent a worrying few weeks while mum got better.  The Williams family were a tower of strength to us all at that time and we never forgot that.

Ali went off to Edinburgh University, and subsequently went to work in various offices of the Royal Bank of Scotland. On 4th November 1976 Elspeth and Colin had their first baby, Fiona Louise, an absolutely divinely beautiful, talented and gifted child, right from the moment I first saw her.  Mum knitted her a very fine Shetland lace shawl, which had an intricate pattern and although it was about 4 foot by 4 foot square, could be drawn through her wedding ring.  The air was blue while she was knitting it.

 I finished school and went on Stirling University in 1977, to study English and Education - soon switched that around to Psychology. Elspeth and Colin, having moved to Croydon,  announced that they were having another baby.  I went home and found mum rummaging through the box-room, muttering dire imprecations - apparently the new baby was arriving in duplicate, and she had to knit another shawl....  Emma Gillian and Kerry Alexandra were born on 31st July 1978, just as gorgeous and special as their big sister.  

I had a fantastic time at Stirling Uni, essays and tutorials notwithstanding. I made lots of friends, broke my heart a few times, and learned a lot about human nature, both in and out of class.  One thing about the 70s and 80s which I took for granted was the constant stream of music which accompanied me everywhere - I only really thought about it recently.  I was never without a radio, or a tape deck, or my beloved stereo - Billy Connolly does a sketch about blood comin' oot the Dansette -  I didn't have a Dansette but the little system I did have died of exhaustion and I thought I was going to go with it.  I loved my tapes and records so much, that I took it as a personal affront when house and garage came along - I came face to face (ear to ear?) for the first time in my life with a form of music which left me cold.  (Well, there was disco too, but that doesn't count.) 

Anyway, after graduating from Uni I went to to a postgrad course in Personnel Management at Kirkcaldy Tech - I didn't pass the course but I derived some comfort from the fact that 14 out of a class of 16 failed, (including the guy who went on to become Jack Vettriano...) and that the course was withdrawn the year after, because the Institute of Personnel Management didn't think the college was making a very good job of things....  Again I made more friends there with whom I am still in touch.  I also worked for a company called John Menzies on a month's placement.   After being unemployed for six months following my year at Kirkcaldy, I was offered a temporary job in head office, and I took it.  Eventually, after working in the postroom, the photocopying room, personnel, payroll, accounts (wholesale and retail) stock control, and reception, I was farmed out to a wholesale warehouse in Murrayfield, where I spent five years dealing with the business of wholesaling Sunday newspapers.  

It was a very exciting time, the tabloid wars between Murdoch and Maxwell were going full tilt, and we were dragged in at midnight on Saturdays sometimes, to re-allocate supplies, according to whichever media mogul had got his knickers in a knot over some imagined slight.  We were also going through the painful process of moving from a ledgers-and-quills office to a fully computerised system, and there were obvious difficulties inherent in this.  Managers suddenly had to be numerate and distanced - it wasn't enough to be the quickest to tie up a bundle of returned magazines any more.  The unions were also diverging - I was a member of SOGAT 82 because I believed -and believe - in the necessity of workers' unions. However, I am also a fully paid up feartie, and I was secretly quite grateful that my desk job kept me clear of the warehouse. Quite often the men would refuse to touch a bundle of returned papers because one or other proscribed title was among them.  It led to some ugly scenes and when you suddenly realise that every participant in an argument has a "ring knife" on their finger (very sharp hooked blade on a ring, used in a downward motion to burst string bales and plastic strapping) then you think twice about appealing to reason.  In fact, you just get the hell out the way. But I did enjoy that job, and was only forced to leave because the realisation dawned that I was never going to make enough money to even begin to save. 

During the time I was with Menzies, I lived with my cousin Betty Black, in her Edinburgh flat.  I was able to re-acquaint myself with all the Blacks during that time.  I also joined the John Menzies Entertainers, a crap title for a fantastic band of am dram enthusiasts.  We put on song and dance shows for the annual dinner dances, and longer shows in local theatres. As any one who has been involved in these things knows, you only do it for the after show party - NOT!!!  There is a fantastic buzz from the knowledge that you have been able to move a room full of people to laughter or applause.  After this group disbanded, I moved on to the Edinburgh Players.  We put on shows of various content (and quality) on the Edinburgh Festival Fringe - God knows how, we didn't have any money. I loved the feeling of a disparate bunch of people gradually becoming a unit which couldn't survive without all the component parts.  Our finest hour was probably a show called Pardon Me, Is this Planet Taken?, which was a musical spoof on Star Trek  - it might sound like rubbish to you but it got us onto BBC2. 

I moved from Betty's flat in the mid 80s to a flat in Merchiston which I shared with an old school pal, Diana. This flat was huge, with beautiful views, in a superb location  - we only had to suffer the visits of the land lord once or twice a year.  This meant a monumental re-arrangement of the entire place- our landlord believed that we were douce young ladies of a certain style and vintage.  When I first moved in, the landlord's visit was due in three days, and his niece, a previous tenant, had left over 60 empty bottles in the pantry, plus other evidence of nefarious activities, which I had to hide.    Diana was away in Shetland on business ( she drove a mobile art gallery at the time ).  (I sent a letter to her, addressed to "Big red and green bus which doubles as an art gallery, Shetland".  She got it.)  I had to hide the bottles etc. in every empty suitcase I could find - I didn't have a car or the time to take them anywhere else. 

The landlord came and went, I got a row for having my guitar resting against the wall.  I think he just wanted to investigate me and my goldfish. 

Also during this time, my sister Alison, who was, and is, an accomplished musician and all-round-athlete,  announced that she was to be engaged to a hockey playing drummer, who was also an accountant.  Les Florence had been at a hockey match, Ali had been at the same hockey match ...  Once again I was the bridesmaid, but this time I had three little helpers - Fiona, Emma and Kerry acted me off the screen with cuteness, and quite rightly too. This was in 1983.  In 1990 the arrival of Nicholas Duncan was announced to the world - yet again a child of distinction, wit and beauty.  What are the chances of that happening four times in a row? It stuns me.

Also also during this time, Elspeth and Colin took a big decision and moved to Luxembourg.  Colin had been offered a post with ICL, his company at the time, and the family moved over in the early 80s. The girls went to the local school and picked up the languages quickly.  

Diana moved off to become Director of the Crawford Arts Centre in St Andrews. Another old school pal, Caroline, moved into the flat.  She had to put up with me when two very close male friends moved away from Edinburgh at the same time and I was left feeling bereft and very hurt.  I wasn't very nice to know at that time.

Time was moving on.  In 1988 I took up a new position in The Royal Bank of Scotland, in their Registrars department.  Here I learned about the heady world of share registration, and was also introduced to the Edinburgh patois.  The company as a whole has been through many, many changes and I am still technically with the same group of people, although it has changed beyond recognition.

The drama group continued.  I was still friendly with Andy Mould from the John Menzies Entertainers days. Andy is gay, and through him I learned a lot about what it is like to belong to a minority.  We shared good times and bad, and a lot of laughs.  I used to tease him about knowing everyone in Edinburgh - anyone with any experience of this city will know how small a place it really is.   One night we were up on stage in our rehearsal rooms, hammering together two bits of wood for some reason which was pertinent at the time.  In walked a bloke with long hair, a beard, and a brown leather jacket.  I asked Andy who this guy was, and he just shrugged. Well, right away I knew that meant he wasn't gay...!!  It took a while, but eventually he and I got together.  Paul Holmes was a former pupil of Heriots', who had been living down south for a few years, and had then decided to come back to Edinburgh to seek his fortune. In November 1990 we began seeing each other, we became engaged in 1991 and were married in 1992.

Paul went back to Uni as soon as we were married, working part time in a local electronics shop. In 1995 his final year project was entered into a national competition and at the age of 31 he was named Young Software Engineer of the Year. At the prize giving ceremony he met his boss to be, who offered him a job there and then.

We were able by this time to afford the odd weekend away, and were up in Elgin when my dad called me and asked me to come home.  Mum had been taken in to hospital on the Wednesday. We had popped in on the Tuesday, on our way north, and Mum had a heavy cold, but apart from that seemed fine. However, her pulmonary system was weakened by years of smoking, and she died on the Friday, 12th April 1996.   

Quite frankly, my world fell apart and it took a lot of rebuilding. I'm sure it was the same for both my sisters.  Colin, Les and Paul were excellent in the support that they gave us all.  Dad, meantime, whose sight has been gradually falling over the years, has coped, as you have to when these things happen.

1996 was some year, Paul started full time employment for the first time in many years, after graduating with First Class Honours.  As a result of his final year project he was invited to take part in a conference at Stanford University in California.  I went with him and we had a few days in San Francisco too. We flew out the morning after Cousin Pat's wedding, having met a chap at the reception who was going to be on the same plane out and back!  It was first time in the States for both of us.  I was by myself while he attended the conference, which hit me like a mallet in the face - it was literally the first time I'd been alone since mum died, so I had to do a lot of hard thinking, thousands of miles from home, in the middle of the sweltering heat, surrounded by foreign academicals and an amazing amount of locals who only spoke Spanish. As we took the Cal Train up state to San Francisco, 30 miles from Palo Alto, the temperature dropped by 30 degrees Celsius, and we rolled into the city, bloody glad to see the fog.

Paul's sister Sarah got married, in a jaw-droppingly beautiful dress, to Pete Humphrey.   I finally took my driving test.  During my lessons I met an inordinate amount of driving instructors, some of whom were excellent and some who had taken a life time course in Wearing Down the Confidence of Your Pupil.  I sat in the car with one for 40 minutes before I realised that his nonstop diatribe about "old women being able to pass their test eventually" was directed at me....  Another shouted "Gas! Gas! Gas!" at me as soon as we started off.  Well, anyone who studied the work of WWI poet William Owen as we did would have done what I did, i.e. an emergency stop. I had to remind myself that I was paying money to be humiliated, and changed instructor. 

Elspeth's girls were beginning to think about University, and eventually they all gained places at Scottish ones.  My office moved from the outskirts of town right into the centre - shops! bars! restaurants! taxis! It was 1997, Princess Diana died and the most incredible scenes were evident as a nation which was becoming increasingly alienated found a remote outlet for its feelings - well, that's one theory.  Mass hysteria was another. 

Much, much worse was the sudden and totally unexpected death of cousin Doddy in 1998.  We had been up to her cottage in the hills above Forfar for another leave-your-cares behind weekend, and on the Wednesday after her sister Betty had to phone up and tell us that Doddy had died of a brain haemorrhage.   Dod certainly packed a lot in to her life, world travel, teaching, music and general naughtiness.  She had a suitcase full of hair-curling stories and is still missed very very much by all her family and friends. At her internment, the heavens opened and we were all thoroughly soaked - Pat pointed to the skies and said "She's up there with a watering can..."  

Also in 98, we went to San Francisco for the second time.  We were too shy to hook up with Lehua, our western seaboard pal - this will NOT be the case the next time we go there!  We had an amazing holiday, in Muir Woods, in Marin County, in Chinatown, strolling about the various areas of the town, watching moths dance in the window of Saks Fifth Avenue and even in the zoo, being shat on by the Rainbow Lorikeets. 

In 1999 we moved to our current house.   (click on the thumbnail to see the view from Dalgety Bay looking back to the Forth Bridges, © Dr Daniel Krüerke)

 As you would expect with the biggest purchase anyone makes in a lifetime, it all went horribly wrong but eventually we got the keys.   A local campaign has pointed out that one has more legal protection buying a tin of beans than one does buying a house - there are certainly a hell of a lot of laws designed to protect the vendor, caveat emptor or what....

Now we have lived in the Bay for nine years.  It's a good place to stay.  The  natives are friendly, especially the ones we have met through the Folk Club, and those who have the misfortune to be our neighbours.  Fife is a grand place to explore, while the big city is close enough that the cultural highlights are easily accessed.  And far enough away in order that we have a peaceful life in our street. I am still besotted with the Forth bridges, although they are now associated with great personal sadness.  I have fun with my band, After 8 Mince.....  Paul has set up DB Astro, which has led to us buying up an inordinate amount of things made from fleece.  The story rolls on.

© Scottie	Looking up, FRB © Dr Daniel Kruërke
The FRB being built, circa 1964 © James G S Black	Taken from the Maid of the Forth 9 May 2003
New pound coin with the FB!  Released Jan 2005, available January 2005.	One from my collection. © www.gingerpaws.co.uk

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